B² Productions | Climbing Blog

The next day was our last in Hueco, for now. We were tired and our fingers were sore, but we were determined to make the most of it. The previous evening, when we’d been down to Asylum Crack, we’d seen a big, long boulder at the very top of North Mountain. This was ‘The Mopboys’ and would be our destination for this morning. We were back in the park again early and we made our way wearily (still worried about Rattlers) to the foot of North Mountain, just opposite where we had been the previous night. The hike up to The Mopboys was pretty much a boulder problem in itself. We had to scrabble up a mish-mash of steep slabsas we zig zagged our way to the summit. By itself, this wouldn’t have been a problem, but when you factor in having to carry up the pads and the rest of the gear it becomes a lot trickier! We got to the top before too long, and started getting set up. It was a very sunny day, but hugely windy in our exposed position. The Mopboys boulder only had a handful of problems on it, but it looked cool. There was a huge array of Huecos all over the place, and many of them were really positive. We’d spotted a couple of good, V1 warms that started next to each other, but finished on the same lay back crack to the top. We despatched these pretty quickly, and decided what to do next. At the very right hand end of the boulder was ‘The Mopboys Taverse’ – a 3 star V6. The problem was long. Very long. But about two thirds of it was made up by a section of excellent Huecos, which would provide good rest points. However, we never got that far to find out! The problem started from a sit start on good holds, behind a small tree. From there you made a couple of fairly easy moves before have to make a big throw back with your left hand to a bad crimp. Benny seemed to be able to deal with this move better than I could, but eventually I found the right position to hold it. The next was a really intense cross through move to a small, sharp side pull crimp. It took e even longer to get this! The body tension required was a lot, and it was a tiring move. We worked this for a while until our fingers couldn’t take anymore and decided it might be a good time to try something else. Luckily, we had something in mind.

Benny on the Mopboys Traverse (V6)

Directly opposite was a problem we’d seen online called ‘Lithologic’ (V4). It was a cool looking problem on the roof of a small cave. It was easy to spot – there are two bug, juggy holds at the start and they were a brilliant white colour against the blank, holdless expanse of the rest of the roof. We arrange the matts as best we could on the sloping landing section and started sussing out the moves. The roof part is essentially five or six moves to the lip before, what looked to be an easy-ish top out. There are few foot holds at the start, so I just took to campussing the first three or four moves to get matched on the second jug. The first part felt good, but then it got tricky. On the video we watched, the guys doing it were using all kinds of elaborate foot swaps to get them to the lip. I couldn’t seem to see how they made this work. I did however find a sequence that seemed to work. There is a big, shallow sloper which I could jam my right heel into, almost up level with my hands. It felt weird and uncomfortable at first, but as I got my confidence up I found that I could actually stick the small edge just round the bulge of the lip with my right hand. There was also a crack which runs long the ceiling, with one pretty good crimp near the base, and a pretty bad (yet still chalky) one towards the top. We experimented with that for a while but I couldn’t seem to make it go. Time and again I hurled myself at the lip, sticking the move 80% of the time, but then coming unstuck when I had to move my feet. Unfortunately, the way I was doing it seemed to out my hands the wrong way round for the top out. There was a good hold further out right which I tried bumping too, but couldn’t seem to make the stretch. Benny was struggling too. He had been trying the move to the lip in a similar way to me, but never seemed to be able to stick it. It was a fun, but frustratingly hard problem. As the sun rolled round over head, the temps started getting hotter and our fingers started getting sorer. We’d been in the park for about four and a half hours by this point, but the effects of the previous five days were starting to show. We decided to call it a day. We packed up our stuff and made the hike back down the Mountain to the Car Park.

Ben on Lithologic (V4)

We were going to make a decision later about whether or not we’d head back into the park for the afternoon when we were back at the Ranch. When we got there however, the lure of cold beers and movies was too strong to resist. We didn’t make it back to Hueco Tanks that day. We chilled in front of the TV for a while and started to get our stuff sorted out for the two day stint if driving ahead of us. I loved Hueco, but we were both ready to move on. We needed a few days off, and some civilisation again. Plus, we knew we’d be making another flying visit at the end of the trip, so our Hueco adventure wasn’t over quite yet…

The next day was to be our earliest start yet. Trying to beat some of the heat, we left the Rock Ranch at around 7:40 and made the short drive to the park. When we arrived, the gates were still locked. We sat looking at the view over North Mountain and waited. A few minutes later a ranger arrived and we were the first people into the park. We signed in and up at the pond parking lot about ten minutes later. We got loaded up and began the hike along path towards the lower chains and out towards Daily Dick Dose. Benny was slightly ahead as we wandered along chatting, until all of a sudden he stopped dead and had to pull up short to avoid walking straight into the back of him. “You ok?” I asked, before I realised why brought on the brisk halt. In the middle of the path lay, coiled up, a snake. It didn’t take long for it to dawn on us what sort of snake it was either. To be fair, it did drop us some pretty big clues, particularly when it coiled up into attack position and raised it’s rattle up over its head! Unsurprisingly, we beat a hasty retreat! I’ve never been so close to a really dangerous, wild creature before and it did scare me up! We got back to the car, and we were both noticeably shaken up. We’d been the first people down that path of the morning and obviously disturbed him from his morning sun bath. We decided that the right thing to do would be to tell the rangers, so we drove back to the ranger station and informed them of what we’d seen (we also made the judgement call to ignore the “advice” from one of the other park visitors in the centre to “just bite it back…”). We soon saw a couple of rangers head out the way we’d come, and we followed them back to the parking lot. We gave them about a five minute head start before we gingerly made our way back down the path again. We passed the rangers as they were heading back out empty handed, and told them again what we’d seen. Apparently, the cave near the lower chains is where a lot of Rattlers hang out, and they have been known to make their way onto the path. Something to be aware of if you find yourself in that part of the park first thing in the morning!

Benny back on Daily Dick Dose

The rest of the trek across the park was uneventful, although our senses were heightened to each every noise! We made our way across the meadow, sticking rigorously to the paths and steering well clear of the long grass. We got up to Daily Dick Dose again, and rested for a few minutes while Benny recounted what had happened for the camera. It was soon time to get down to the business in hand, and we started working the problem again. The previous afternoon, we’d watched some videos of the problem in order to try and glean some valuable beta. Snoo (back in London by this point) had sent me a link with an alternate start to the problem, which involved laying back the opposite way to Benny, and having a foot up on the hold he uses for his left hand. I tried this unsuccessfully a few times, but eventually managed to stick the move upto the next handhold. It’s still pretty tricky from there though, as you need to bring your right foot up next to your right hand, and make a big move back to the good undercling! I still found this really hard, despite repeated attempts. I think flexibility is something I need to work on. Benny tried the problem this way for a few attempts too, but decided ultimately that the heel hook way is better suited. After having managed to link the first three or four moves together at on our previous visit, he was keen to get the whole thing, and was confident that if he could make it to the undercling it would be in the bag. After around an hours worth of off and on attempts, he managed to do just that! Looking solid from the start, he got to the undercling quickly. A controlled cut loose at the lip was held, and made his way up the good face holds to the top. The ascent came seemingly out of nowhere but was hugely impressive! His first V7 in the bag, and three star classic no less. Excellent work! It was getting on for 11:30 now, and it was heating up. Despite being in the cave, it was still hot, and as I continued to throw myself at the problem, the holds were getting increasingly hard to hold, despite laying up the chalk. I decided I needed to let this one go for today, and make a conscious effort to train the required weaknesses, should we return soon. We packed up and made our way back into the park in search of some more classic problems. We headed back down the chains and out towards Bloody Flapper (V4) – another 3 star classic. The name was slightly off putting, especially to Benny who’d given himself exactly that in Bishop, but we thought we’d have a look at least. The sun was right on the problem when we arrived. It was hot and exposed, but we tried it anyway. The problem starts on a toothy, in cut crimp, and a good side pull, with high feet, up to a heavily chalked up, triangular sloper. Or so we thought. Later research has shown people totally skipping that hold and making a dyno up to the good rail high above – I personally wouldn’t have believed this move had I not seen it on video! We gave the problem a good short, but found the sloper increasingly harder to hold. The midday sun beating down into our eyes didn’t really help either, and after about another hour we admitted defeat and decided to head out of the park for a while, and get some lunch at the Rock Ranch.

Ben G's fingers after five days on in Hueco!

Charles was around when we got back, and asked us what we wanted to do about settling up the accommodation. We thought this was as good a time as any, and headed off into town to get some cash, and chill out. Our fingers were really starting to hurt by now, and we were both sporting impressive looking blood blisters and big chucks of absent skin. Maybe five days on with only one rest day were taking their toll. So, we made the drive up into town, got some cash and food supplies and then visited a nearby Starbucks. I purchased a $5 Starbucks card which gave us access to the internet, and so we stayed there for an hour or so, browsing the web and sipping ice tea. It was nice to hide out in there, making the most of the air conditioning. In hindsight, we’d lucked out, weather wise, in Hueco. The rain and cloud cover had kept things cool, but now the skies had cleared and the heat was stifling. We made our way slowly back to the Rock Ranch and decided what to do with ourselves for the rest of the afternoon. It was starting to get late now, and it had been a long day. At about 4pm we decided to go back to the park for one last blast of the day. We were going to look at another classic, the 3 star ‘Asylum Crack’ (V3). We got back to the parking lot, got loaded up and wandered round at ground level to the problem. By the time we found it, it was almost 5pm which only left us an hour before the gates shut again. We sussed out the moves, and the problem did look cool, but neither of us seemed to have the energy or enthusiasm to try it. We called it a day and went back to the car and to the Rock Ranch again. The place was deserted when we got there, so we spent the evening cooking, watching movies and enjoying another beautiful sunset. We hatched our plan for the morning too. On our way to Asylum Crack we’d seen the long bulge of the Mopboys onto of the hill. It looked cool. There was also another cool looking V4 up there called Lithologic which we’d seen on YouTube earlier in the day. So, our destination was set for the following day. All that was left now was to get some rest, and hopefully re-grow some skin…

Another Rock Ranch sunset. (Click for Larger Version)

After an intensive 3 days of climbing, Sunday morning soon rolled around and Snoo and Ashby were packed and ready to head home to England. We loaded up The Tank and set off for El Paso International. We stopped on route to fill up with fuel, Snoo and Ashby weren’t the only ones we would be bidding farewell, for The Tank was too big for mine and Ben’s needs (and we could do with something that didn’t drink fuel like it was going out of fashion). We arrived at the airport in good time. It was sad saying goodbye at the gate, we’d certainly miss Snoo and Ashby over the coming days.
Heading back up to the Rock Ranch in our newly acquired Ford Focus (from hereon named ‘The Beast’), we bought some ice cream and talked about what we would try over the next three days at Hueco. We spent the rest of the day kicking back watching DVD’s at the Rock Ranch, Ben cooked up a storm in the kitchen producing a beautiful Spaghetti Bolognese.
The days had steadily been getting clearer and we were in for some hot climbing days. The sun was blazing the next morning as we drove to the park, our plan was to head out to the See Sharp boulder and try A Minor(V2) and Be Flat(V4). We parked up and performed the daily geek ritual of blogging, twittering, facebooking etc and headed up onto the mountain. See Sharp wasn’t too much of a hike and we were soon presented with a impressive slightly overhanging wall with perfect crimps. On the far end was A Minor(V2), a short problem up some good crimps to a nice sloping top-out. Ben was soon shoed up and ready for an attempt, after an initial mistake with hand placements, he went on to send the problem easily. Following Ben’s beta, I made an ascent soon after. Next on the list was Be Flat, a couple of grades harder, but it looked doable and worthy of some time spent. It immediately became obvious that Be Flat deserved it’s extra grades, we were struggling to get off the ground from the sit start. Ben spent some time working the sit start and eventually found a good foot placement on the incut at the base of the rock. This meant that he could hit the next hold, though sticking it would be another matter, the crux moves we’re definitely low down on this problem. I had a few more attempts and began to make some progress using the same foothold as Ben. After a few goes I could stick the move, a big throw left and up to an incut crimp. As I went for another go, crack!. The good foothold had broken off. Bugger. Had we just added a couple more grades?
Ben sat down to figure out an alternative start, as it turned out the broken hold had revealed a new (and better, according to Ben) foothold underneath. Phew, it still might be possible after all. The sun was starting to appear over the boulder, so things would be getting to hot for this crimpfest soon. Ben was making good progress by this point and sticking the first couple of moves with relative ease. Until. Crack! Another hold now just a pile of dust on the ground, this time around there were no new holds, just choss, a spanner in the works. In the meantime, I had already been working an alternative start, as the new foothold put the next move out of reach for me. We didn’t have any choice but to put a foot up on the face, making the sit start even more strenuous. We were now both stuck with the harder sit start, with a right foot high on the face. I eventually began to stick the first move and get my feet in position for the next hard move, a big span right to one of the better holds on the problem. From there it’s a move straight up followed by a big move to the top – it’s not technical just big. I threw for the top and my legs swung out behind me. I had a good hold on the lip and topped it out without too much trouble, cool, first Hueco V4. I felt like I’d earned it on that roasting hot morning too. Ben carried on for a few more tries, but the heat meant the friction just wasn’t there now.

Next up was Skimmer(V3), a bit of a wildcard as we didn’t have a photo, just a two line description. We made the hike to the top of the mountain and had a look around for the problem. It’s not the easiest to find, as it’s set down in what is essentially a hole in the rock. We soon found it, and were glad we had. It looked like a great problem, with big side-pulls and good rails, like something you’d do in a Gym. Ben made short work of the problem and I followed shortly after. A definite classic.
It was past midday by this point, and approaching unbearable heat, so we made the hike down off the mountain and headed back to the ranch.

After a bit of lunch and some fluids for rehydration, we had a flick through the book looking for a project for the afternoon. Ghetto Simulator(V2) was our choice, listed as a 4 star classic in the book. Being on the far side of North Mountain, and not accessible from the perimeter path, it would be a long hike in. We headed back to the park, up the chains past Nobody Here… and across the meadow. As we reached the summit we could see Ghetto Simulator in the distance, a long way away and over rough terrain. It took us about 30 minutes to get to the problem and it was immediately clear that this thing was a monster. A row of big perfect huecos running diagonally up and right to the crux, a crimpy set of moves to a tricky and scary top out. If it wasn’t for the fact that there is a neighboring rock that backs onto the problem, the top-out would be about 35 feet off the ground. As it is, it feels safe enough to not use mats. Very unique. It feels more like climbing a route rather than a boulder problem. We started working the moves and made good progress, on the lower half it’s all about not getting too pumped for the top section. I had a good attempt and made it up to the crimps, but had got the sequence wrong halfway through the problem meaning I was too pumped to top-out. I practiced the middle section a few times to get it wired. Ben, having had tried only the first few moves previously, went for the send. Climbing the lower section with effortless ease he had plenty of energy left for the crux. He powered though the crimps throwing a big scary move for the top, and topped it out. Great work. With time ticking before the park closed and 30 minute hike out, I’d only have a couple more attempts. Luckily I did it on my next go. What an awesome problem. We hiked made the hike back and got to the car before closing time, exhausted.
We’d be doing it all again the next day.

The next day signaled an end of an era. It was Snoo and Ashby’s last day in the states with us. We all had pretty mixed emotions – it had been an awesome trip, but it was sad that this portion of it was coming to an end. On the plus side, the sun was shining and it was a much nicer day than the previous two. With our spirits lifted by the weather, we decided to make the most of the last day with the four of us in Hueco Tanks. Ashby was really psyched to try and send Nobody Here… before he left, so we made that our goal for the day. We headed to the park and hiked our way up the chains again, and stopped at the Small Potatoes for a warm up. While we were doing a handful of V0’s and V1’s, Benny had his eye on a steep, overhanging arete pretty much next to Mrs. Potato Head called And a Bag of Parts (V2). We threw the matts down for Benny, and tried our best to spot him on the awkward landing. On his first attempt, he made it to the end of the overhang without too much difficulty, but due to a tricky hand sequence, had to abort before the top section. After a short rest, he tried it again and made a quick ascent, making a solid, yet scary looking move from the overhanging arete onto a similarly thin slab version. A very positive start to the day!

Ashby on Nobody Here Gets Out Alive (V2)

By now, Ashby was itching to get back onto Nobody Here… so we gathered up the stuff and made the short hike across towards the edge of North Mountain. Ashby was straight back on the problem, and gave it a couple of good burns where he managed to get to the edge of the roof again but couldn’t link it the whole way through. While he rested in between goes, me Benny and Snoo went round the back of the boulder to another problem, a short, crimpy V1 called The Dud. Snoo had a couple of goes, but was struggling to make the big move to a crimp from the scrunchy sit start. Benny and I both sent it after a couple of goes, by which point Ashby was ready to try Nobody… again. After some initially reluctance, we finally convinced Ashby to try the top section, coming onto the slab and up, in isolation from the rest of the problem. Trying the section from a standing start helped him figure out the moves he needed to make in order to get established on the bottom of the slab from the roof. Doing this helped with the mental side of things as now he knew he can physically do it – he just needs to put in the start! Simple. And it turned out to be just that – he got back on the problem and went straight up the whole thing! As he stood at the top grinning down at us we all congratulated him on a job well done! Now it was time to start a new project. We gathered up our stuff and headed across the meadow to Daily Dick Dose (V7).

Benny on Daily Dick Dose (V7)

We scrambled up the tricky approach and dumped all our stuff down. Benny and I were both psyched to try the problem, although Benny was far more confident about getting it a than I was. The first few moves are pretty tight and require a lot of body tension. We placed the matts down, and so began the project. Benny was trying the start the way we’d seen on videos with his left hand out on a bad gastone, his right on a crimp, and high right heel hook pretty much next to his hand. This seemed to work pretty well for him, as he could hold his weight in this position and, after some experimenting with shoe combinations, he could move from this position to he next hand hold. Although he couldn’t stick it at this point, he was making good progress. Sadly, my progress wasn’t so quick. I tried it Benny’s way a few times, but due to the the nature of the placements and my long limbs, I seemed to get tied up in knots and would just deck out onto my back! Very frustrating. I scouted around a few times for alternative footholds lower down which would keep me a bit more stretched out. I found myself a few (just about) ok foot holds and proceeded to throw myself at the next hold. We were both going for a tiny crimp, and although I could latch it, and after a while hold myself up on it, the footholds were just slightly too low down meaning I cut my feet, and the roof of the cave was so low that I couldn’t keep them up off the ground. Very annoying, and proof to the statement that I make to many non-climbers that my height isn’t necessarily always a bonus in climbing. I stuck at it regardless though, until my fingertips were too sore to carry on. Benny was still making progress, but the fatigue of three pretty intense days on was beginning to show on him too. We decided to call it a day. We hiked back across the meadow, over to and down the chains and back to the car. Ashby and Snoo bid Hueco goodbye for now and we headed back to the Ranch.

As it was Ashby and Snoo’s last night, we’d decided to go out for dinner. Charles at the Rock Ranch gave us a recommendation of a good Mexican place on Montana Ave. where he used to work called Rancho Escondido. We all showered and changed and headed up there. As it was Ashby and Snoo’s last night it wouldn’t have been fair to make them drive, and since Benny is a sucker for a Margarita it was down to me to be the sober, designated driver. We headed to the restaurant, and from the road it looked pretty non descript (and also, quite closed). We did finally find the entrance round the back, and we were treated to a really lovely, tardis like restaurant inside. As promised, the food and drink was great. Charles also arrived as we were finishing dinner and he joined us for more drinks. Benny must have sunk about 5 Margaritas (as did Snoo) and Ashby wasn’t shy of a few Buds either. We had a lot of fun as we joked and reminisced about the trip with Charles. We needed to head up into town after to get some supplys from WalMart (not the classic post drinking destination). Just because we were in WalMart didn’t mean the fun had to stop, however! Benny and Ashby got hold of the shop mobility scooters from outside the store and started racing them (albeit at low speed) around. Amazingly, no one said anything as they crashed their way up and down the isles, and I was left in their wake in a hysterical, laughing pile on the floor! So, so much fun. A perfect last night and a great way to top off our first two weeks in the states! I couldn’t wait for more to come!

Keen to get back in the park, we were all up and ready early again. We’d been delayed the previous day by the red tape of forms and videos which we needed to sit through before we were allowed into the park which we could pretty much bypass today. Our rough plan of action was to head up the chains again, and work our way back towards Nobody Here… so that Ashby and Snoo could work the problem further, but going via the Gymnasium area which we’d been recommended the day before. The clouds were over head again, and it looked like it was threatening to rain again so we needed to be quick. We hiked up to the top of the chains, and warmed up on a few easy problems on the Small Potatoes boulders before making our way towards the Gymnasium. Similarly to Sign of the Cross, getting to The Gymnasium seemed to be a boulder problem in itself. The way we’d been told to enter was through a crack between two huge faces, which was littered with chock stones. It was no easy feat to get in. We had to form a bit of a chain gang in order to get all our stuff through, and utilise some creative smearing, chimneying and full on body jams to get through and over of the stones. It was a little too close to caving for my liking, and I was far from comfortable with the whole thing. After a great team effort, we and all our stuff was in and we were ready to start on some problems. The area was basically one long wall which was littered with Huecos, dishes and pockets as far as the eye could see! We lugged our stuff down into the middle of the of the wall which was the lowest part, and we started on some V0 problems (Solid Pleasure, World without Lawyers and Jimmy Hats on Parade) to warm up. Just next to the series of warm up problems were two V3’s, split by a black water streak. Benny and I started looking these over and trying to suss out the moves. The first, Only Little People Pay Taxes (V3) was to the right of the water streak, began with a sit start on good Huecos for both hands and feet, with a big move up to shallow dishes, the bottoms of which sloped away making for really hard, bad crimps! We made the first couple if moves ok, but no amount of elaborate footwork, pulling, pushing or flat out throwing ourselves around seemed to make the the next move up to a high edge any easier! Benny and I must have spent the best part of an hour, if not more, working this problem and not really getting anywhere. We turned our attentions to Rhymes with Rich (V3) on the other side of the water streak. The first few moves on this were better, with some crimpy moves up to a good rail, but there was another big move up to the lip which we were still struggling with. Finally, we decided that we’d had enough of the Gymnasium area, and decided that we should make a move onto some more classic problems. We wrestled our way back out through the crack to the main path, and headed back up to Nobody Here… again so Ashby and Snoo could continue their project.

Both Ashby and Snoo were really determined to do Nobody Here…, and when we got back to it, they both fired up to get started. Snoo mainly began working the big throw back from the thin rail to the lower hand holds at the bottom of the face. The high feet she needed did make the move harder, and although she came close to latching the handhold a few times, it was just a bit too much of a stretch to keep her feet on. This didn’t prevent her from trying it over and over though! Definitely a great effort. Ashby also made some good solid progress too, and managed to link the roof section all the way to the lower part of the face, but came a cropper with getting established on the slab. After a while, Benny and I decided to make the short hike across the meadow to have a look at the V7 classic, Daily Dick Dose, which was another problem we both wanted to have a stab at. We left the other two to it, and wandered across through the long grass, and hiked our way up the low boulders to the cave which houses Daily Dick Dose. We sat under the roof and looked at and felt out the holds. We pretty much knew the sequence pretty well from watching videos online, but it looked a lot different up close. We spent twenty minutes or so discussing our plan of attacked and decided to come back the next day and give it a crack. By this point, the clouds were starting to rear up again as we scrabbled back down to the meadow and headed back to where the other two were still plugging away on Nobody Here. Ashby was getting pretty close by this point, but also quite tired. It didn’t look like he was gonna get the problem today – especially as the rain had started to fall. Before too long, the heavens had opened and we were sheltering from under rocks from another downpour. As we sheltered under the rocks, we flicked through the guidebook to try and decide what to do next. As the shower started to let up, we gathered up the stuff and made a quick, yet cautious exit down down the chains towards the Martini Roof.

Benny on Baby Martini (V6)

When we eventually found the Martini Boulders, it happened again. I was star struck by a piece of rock. It’s a weird experience that hadn’t happened to me before until I saw, and touches the holds on the Mandala in Bishop. When you watch and absorb as many climbing films as we do, it’s hard to explain, but getting into that cave was like being at a Hollywood film premier, and all the stars had turned out. To my left was the mighty Esperaza (V14) which I’d watch Chris Sharma try and send many times in the film Best of the West. Sitting underneath it, and feeling out the holds for real gives you a real sense of how much of a phenomenon Sharma actually is. There’s barely anything there! Incredible. The cave is totally full of classics. Esperanza is a 3 star classic. Deep in the back of the cave was the 4 star Left Martini (aka Shaken Not Stirred) which also features in BotW and the other 3 star problem which we’d come to try, the V6 Baby Martini. This was another problem we’d had our eye on previously, and one reason we’d spent so much time in the Catacombe at The Castle. Baby Martini is a fairly long, intense roof problem along a line of good Huecos. We threw the matts down and Benny gave it a shot. It was hard for us to judge where to place the matts as Benny moved along the problem, especially as none of us, including him knew the exact sequence! We got a harsh lesson when his foot popped off a hold and he decked out hard onto his back, inches to the left of where the matt was. Luckily he came away being only a little shaken up and a bit bruised, but we knew we needed to up our game on the spotting front! We laid all the pads out in a line, and I gave the problem a go. I felt pretty solid on the holds, but when you’re on the roof, it’s awkward to know where to go. After a while, Benny and I began to work our the sequence and we could both link to what seemed to be first crux – a big reach back to a bad pocket. The hold itself wasn’t too bad, but the big stretch back made it hard to keep your feet on. We worked the problem for a while before we were too tired to pull ourselves off the ground. It was looking like it was threatening to rain again, and we were all pretty hungry too by now. Plus, we had a hot date with the big box of Buds back at the Rock Ranch so we decided to knock it on the head. Packing up the gear, we made another careful descent down the chains and back to the Ranch…

Waking up the next morning, the clouds hung low in the sky. It certainly looked like it might rain and threaten our first day in the park. Determined not to let that happen, we had a quick breakfast and headed out towards Hueco Tanks. We won’t bore you here with the process you have to go through, to get into the park (you can find plenty of disgruntlement elsewhere on the web). It’s not actually too bad, and 30 minutes later we had access to North Mountain. The rain had held off so far, and the temperatures were good.

A view of the clouds from the Rock Ranch

First stop was the Warm-up Boulder, it’s a nice area with some good problems, however things are starting to get a bit polished. It would keep us busy for a bit though. Snoo, Ashby and Ben started off on Decent Warm Up (V0-) on the main face and both made short work of it, I had my eye on Barnstormer (V1). It felt hard for it’s grade, mostly due to the fact there are no footholds down low and you pretty much have to campus the first few moves. Ben then came to join me on The Butter Dish (V2), whilst Snoo and Ashby headed off to check out the rest of the boulder. The Butter Dish is a cool problem, starting from a couple of shallow underclings, with a big move up to a good rail. Then it gets a little unnerving. You make a big move up to a shallow, smooth, sloping hold with a small edge at the back of it (the butter dish hold presumably). Then You dig your heel into the large rail before rocking over to a good jug, before a scrabbly (in Ben’s case) top out. The top out would be totally fine, had it not been for the overgrown tree which you have to maneuver round to top out. The problem is super fun though, and Ben and I soon despatched it after a few attempts.

Next I wanted to try the 3 star classic Thunderbird (V1). Thunderbird started in the same place as Barnstormer but instead of traversing up and left, you go straight up a crack to the top. It’s cool as you start with cool, power campus moves at the start, sand then it quickly changes to a technial, pretty balancey problem at the top. Two flashes from me and Ben. Definitely worth it’s stars. Meanwhile, Ashby and Snoo had sussed out a cool looking Hueco Jug-fest problem called Bitch Magnet (V0). Snoo, after having some initial footwork issues, was making good progress as was Ashby. Despite it’s low grade, this problem is trickier than it seems. Like many walls in Hueco, you’re confronted with a ton of holds but not all of them are good. It sometimes takes a while to suss out the decent holds and work the sequence accordingly. Ashby soon managed to link the whole thing together, and Snoo, after having to figure a slightly different sequence wasn’t far behind. The weather was looking ominous still, and a few spots of rain started to fall. The one place we’d all just taken for granted that it would be sunny and scorching hot and sunny would have been Texas, but apparently not. Sigh. Undeterred, we pushed on further into the park in search of more classic problems.

We hiked up the rock towards the 3 star Memento (V1). To get to it however, we had to squeeze us, and our stuff through a small cave which housed another 3 star problem Sign of the Cross (V4). Ben and I couldn’t help but take a minute to suss out the line, and decided to come back and give it a go after we’d visited Memento. Once we were out of the cave, we found Memento quickly. The line is quite high, with a nice series of edges and crimps before a good top out. The landing was pretty dodgy, but with a crafty array of pads it wasn’t really an issue. The fact that all four of us flashed it also rendered the slightly ropey landing null and void. Four flashes and four very different styles and sequences, but we all agreed that it was a cool problem. Next it was back to. Benny and I were now keen to get back to Sign of the Cross and give it a try. We squeezed all our stuff into the cave, and while Snoo and Ashby tried a problem called Lughead (V0-) on the adjacent wall, Ben and I cleaned off the holds and tried the first initial moves. And boy, did we get shot down! The problem starts, matches a couple of ok holds, with a big move up to one of a possible two crimps. The wall bulges out however, and it was hard to keep your feet on the starting holds. Time after time Ben would make the first up to one of the higher crimps, only for his feet to cut and his left hand peeling off the lower hold. I was struggling to even get established that far. Sadly, no amount of elaborate footwork seemed do any good, and we decided after about half an hour to move onto something else.

We hiked across the (incredibly ugly) dam which cuts across part of the park and up towards to the chains. At the top of the chains we were greeted by the Small Potatoes  boulders. There seemed to be a lot of cool looking stuff here, with holds and chalk beta all over the place. We had a quick look through the guidebook and found a few things which looked like they could be fun. Snoo and Ashby started working Chive Sucker (V0) while Ben had his sights on cool, slightly overhung problem called Mrs. Potato Head (V1). After a couple of attempts at sussing out the low footholds he made a quick ascent: Four or five intense moves through crimps and edges to a solid top out onto a triangular flake. I followed behind with a flash ascent, before Ashby and Snoo came to join us. Ashby had a few attempts, but suffered with the same low foothold issues that Ben did. He decided to rest of a miniute, and while he did, Snoo stepped up. Pulling down on the starting crimps, she worked her feet high, pulled down hard and made the reach up to the next good, left hand hold. Looking solid, she popped for the lip and got it! We cheered he on hauled herself up and over the top for a flash! Excellent work! We were even treated to a little celebration dance at the top. Ashby then got back on the problem, and made a quick ascent too. As we sat and chilled, a couple of a locals guys wandered past on their way through. They stopped and chatted for a while and recommended we checked out the Gymnasium area, the entrance to which it turned out, we were right next to. We made a mental note to work that into our itinerary while we were here. After they left, we packed up and continued along the ridge, stopping to look at other classic lines, like the mega high ball, See Spot Run (V6) and one of many Fred Nicole Hueco test pieces Bare Foot on Sacred Ground (V13)! As we continued towards the edge of North Mountain we found one of the problems that Ben and I had been obsessing over for months: Nobody Here Get’s Out Alive – A four star V2! There aren’t that many four star problems in Hueco Tanks, but the ones there are are, obviously, world class. Nobody… is certainly that. When we got there, the guys we’d seen early were trying it. We tossed our pads into the communal pile and they stepped aside to let Ben have a go. He spent a minute or so sussing out the sequence before jumping straight on. This problem is right up his street: A horizontal roof, big holds, big moves and heel hooks galore! You could tell he was excited! Sitting down at the starting jug, he pulled and hooked his way through the hoof, getting to the point were it turns through 90 degrees into a steep slab to the top. Getting matched on the low hand holds of the slab, he threw his heel up onto the big rail, made the huge rock over and before you knew it, he was at the top and happy! I got on next and made another flash ascent, utilising a few more excellent holds which Ben hadn’t really needed due to the extra reach. Charles at the Rock Ranch had said that Nobody… had pretty much been built to be climbed, and it certainly felt that way. The sequence is tricky, but fairly obvious, the holds are all there and all solid and it flows so well. It was so cool to be on it at last. Ashby and Snoo both got on the problem as well, but both ran into problems on various moves. Ashby was struggling with some of the foot work to get established to the big throw back to the end of the roof, and Snoo, who made it through to that point, didn’t quite have the reach or strength in her arms to make the reach back. They both worked the problem for a while, until the black clouds started to roll in over the horizon. Not a good sign. A couple of minutes later and the heavens had opened, and thunder crashed over head! We gathered up our stuff and fled for cover under a nearby roof. The downpour was huge, and massive channels of water ran past all around us. We decided it was probably time to call it a day. We waited for a break in the rain and a dash for the car. As we made it back to the Rock Ranch, the thunder started up again and we were treated to a downpour like nothing we’d seen for a long time! Stair rod rain, hail stones the size of marbles, thunder and lightening crashed down for hours, and watched out of the windows as the previously desert landscape was flooded.

The sunset as seen from the Rock Ranch (Click for a Larger Version)

With nothing else for it, chilled out with some beers and climbing magazines while Ben prepared dinner. As we ate, we watched the excellent climbing feel ‘Spray’ and longed for dry conditions. About two thirds of the way through the film, Ashby sprang up like a Meerkat and urged us all to look outside. The rain had subsided, and the sky was an incredible firey orange! The storm had treated us to the most incredible sunset to over the mountains. Cameras were hastily grabbed, and we rushed outside. It was still raining, but that didn’t stop us. Sheltering under the hatch back boot of The Tank we watched the sun drop over the mountains. A few more beers later and it was time for bed. We were all psyched to get back to the park, and we all had our fingers crossed that it would be drier. It couldn’t get much wetter…

Hueco Rock Ranch

Leaving behind a stormy Phoenix, we hit the road, eastbound towards the Lone Star State. Only one thing was between us and Hueco and that is the barren wasteland that is south New Mexico (I should add that we have since seen a lot more of New Mexico and some of it is stunningly beautiful). The drive was long and boring, about the only novelty were some roadside signs advertising ‘The Thing’ which turned out to be a petrol station, a huge letdown, even more-so because we didn’t need fuel. Oh, and it rained. A lot. The whole way. Not the best introduction to a new state.
El Paso eventually appeared over the horizon, and it truly is a little American slice of Mexico. As we rolled up Montana Avenue, past the numerous strip clubs, prisons and scrap yards – I did wonder whether we were in the right place. Sure enough at the top of the hill, Hueco Tanks loomed in the distance. Too tired to be excited, we bumped down unpaved road in search of the Rock Ranch. With help from the Guidebook and no help from TomTom we pulled up outside the Ranch. Charles (owner of the ranch) welcomed us with a hearty handshake a a broad smile. Pausing from his evening’s entertainment (The Curious Case of Benjamin Button) he showed us round what was to be (and he couldn’t stress this enough) “Oh house!” The Hueco Rock Ranch is a pretty incredible place. A big ol’ house in the middle of the desert, a stones throw from Hueco Tanks park. We were given the full guided tour, through the many bedrooms, open plan living/dining/kitchen/bar, the barn complete with $100 pool (which Charles was very proud of), the slacklines. In short, the works. And it was all at our disposable. I told you it was an incredible place! For the first time on the entire trip I felt at home. We chilled out and read through the endless back issues of Urban Climber, and messed around on the finger boards and campus rungs mounted on the back of the stairs. After we’d relaxed, unpacked and started to recover from the drive, it was time to get provisions! Another bonus of the Rock Ranch was he had full use of a kitchen! Ben had all sorts of grand plans of some home cooked comforts we could create, which would offer a nice change from eating out every night. With The Tank now empty, we bundled back in and headed back towards El Paso and Walmart.

We pulled out from Hueco Tanks road onto Montana Avenue and made our way back the way we’d come. All was fine until an unfamiliar light flashed up on the dashboard. This is rarely a good sign. And this occasion would be no exception. We’d gotten a puncture! I swung into the nearest lay by and we anxiously jumped out of the car. Ben announced that he could hear hissing from one of the back tires. Dammit. We found the instruction manual, and before long we hand The Tank jacked up, the offending wheel laid on the side of the road and the new one in place. Thanks to a good team effort, we were back on the road again with only 30 minutes added to our journey. We arrived at the biggest Walmart we’d ever seen and proceeded to get loaded up with food for the next few days and some by now, well earned beers. After a slightly bizarre scenic detour from TomTom we we heading our way back to the Ranch. While Ben and Snoo sorted out the massive pizza we’d bought for dinner that night, Ashby and I recalled our eventful evening to Charles. There was nothing really left to do other than eat, wash up and flick through the Hueco Tanks guidebook in preparation for the following day. Excited to get to the park, we all headed off to bed to get rested for our first day in the park.

Zorro is a beautiful classic line in Curry Village in the heart of the valley. We had tried it last year and didn’t make much progress on it. Revisiting the valley this year, it was the problem that Ben and I really wanted to send. Did we? Well you’ll have to check out the video to find out?

We’re interrupting our American Roadtrip diary briefly to bring you a new video. B² Productions proudly presents: Castle Classics – Volume 1. A short film highlighting a selection of some of our favourite boulder problems, recently set at the Castle.

Castle Classics – Volume 1 from B² Productions on Vimeo.

We hope you enjoy it, and it you haven’t already, pay the Castle a visit – it’s a great place!

We arrived in Mesa (a suburb of Phoenix) shortly after dark that evening. Along the way we were treated to a pretty spectacular sunset. And more intense heat. Other than that, the drive was fairly uneventful, and we were all glad to be out of ‘The Tank’ by the time we pulled into the lobby of the hotel. We dumped our stuff off, and after a few visits from the maintenance guy with various new modems(?!) and cables we were finally online as well. It amazes me quite how behind the times parts of the US seem to be when it comes to the internet. None of fancied driving far to get dinner, so we settled on getting a quick bite in the bar restaurant adjoining the hotel. 10pm rolled around and we were all throughly shattered so we all hit the sack early in preparation for an “intensive” day of tubing (pronounced: “Toobin’”) the next day. We’re not getting any younger, y’know…

Snoo was particularly excited in the morning, and not just because she was looking forward to the tubing. Oh no she was excited because the breakfast buffet at the hotel had the facilities for us to make our own Waffles! Hurrah! And so we did. Feeling full, and not especially buoyant, we donned our swimming stuff in preparation for a days messin’ about on the river. Ashby’s back was still giving him some hassle, so he went over to the massage place opposite the hotel to book an appointment for the afternoon. And yes, we did rib him about it. It’s only right. With the 4pm appointment in place, it was off to the river. After one failed attempt to find the place, one trip back to a Gas station for fuel and directions, one huge distance exaggeration from the guy working at said Gas Station (5 miles instead of the quoted “about 20 miles”), and some mild stressing from Snoo, we were finally there. We boarded the bus with our oversize inner tubes in hand (and a small one for our cool box!) and soon we were dropped at the top of the river and left to our own devices. Tubing is not a particularly taxing or competitive pass time. You find yourself a suitable river, preferable one sans waterfalls, you put your tube in the water, you put yourself in the tube, and you float along. For hours. It was nice. Definitely more of what we had in mind for when we took a “rest day”. Well done Snoo. I would say that Ashby took to tubing like a duck to water, but that’s not quite the right metaphor. Off the top of my head, I’d say that it was more Ashby took to tubing like a Cow takes to hand gliding. The sight of him trying to get himself into his tube almost caused me to capsize mine! It was hilarious! I don’t have the sufficient vocabulary to explain how funny it was, so you’ll just have to trust me on this one. He then managed to get himself stuck on some rocks before being rescued by some fellow tubers. By this point, we were only a few minutes into our epic journey but I already felt like I’d got my monies worth. We soon regrouped and we floated on down the river. There isn’t really a huge amount that I can say about the trip from there, as it was all fairly chilled and stress free. We went over a few rapids. We saw some fish. We saw lots of old cans of beer on the river bed. We saw some brightly coloured birds. And that was about it. Oh, and a guy in a full, head-to-toe camouflage wet suit and snorkel doing… God knows what.

The Tank all packed up and ready to leave Phoenix!

After around 3 hours, and copious reapplications of sunscreen later, we arrived at the pick up point. We trudged up the beach to the bus stop, and were soon bouncing our way back to the main office. We dropped of the tubes, bundled back into the ca and headed back to the hotel. And there we stayed pretty much, enjoying doing very little. Benny did some washing, Snoo managed to arrange a rather complexed pick up and drop off of her mobile phone (which she left in the hotel in Bishop), I had an unsuccessful battle with Virgin Mobile USA (jokers), and Ashby went for his massage. All very rock ‘n roll, but very welcome at the same time after so many jam packed days. We went for an early dinner, and rested up for our trip into Texas the next day. As the storm clouds rolled in over Phoenix, we packed up The Tank and rolled out…